Surrendered

 In 2015 God used a most unusual man to minister to me after my daughter’s Glioblastoma diagnosis.  Tucked away in the Old Testament, in a book just three short chapters long, is a man by the name of Habakkuk.  His name means “to wrestle”, and wrestle he did. The book starts out with Habakkuk asking God, “O LORD, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear?” 

I very much identified with Habakkuk and his wrestling in 2015 and now,  at the start of 2018 I’m identifying with his story in a whole new way. 

You see 2015 Habakkuk was questioning, crying out, he was trying to fix things. 2018 Habakkuk has surrendered his circumstances. He has come to God with his shava (Hebrew for “to cry out, to shout”) and now this simple farmer is standing by his watchpost (Habakkuk 2:1) singing to God and waiting for Him to speak. 

And so it is with me...

On Wednesday of last week I had my own shava moment when my daughter Kelsie had a seizure that lead to the diagnosis of not one but three recurrent brain tumors. 

Now, I’m standing at my watchpost surrendered. Worshipfully waiting on God to move. To speak. Standing here remembering how He walked the Israelites out of Egypt, how He parted the waters for Moses, how He delivered Joseph and used him to bless a nation, how He healed the woman with just the touch of His garment, and healed the Centurions servant with just a word. 

Habakkuk’s song in 3:17-19 says this: 

“Even if the fig tree does not blossom and there are no grapes on the vines, 

If the olive trees fail to give fruit and the fields produce no food, 

If the flicks die far from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls; 

Then I will still rejoice in the Eternal!

I will rejoice in the God who saves me!

The Eternal Lord is my strength!

He has made my feet like the feet of a deer;

He allows me to walk on high places.”

This was Habakkuk’s  way of  saying

 “Even if Lord...I will still worship You.”

In her book “Fresh Out of Amazing”, author Stacey Thacker writes,  “Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is worship God.” 

This is exactly what Habakkuk was doing in the face of terrifying circumstances. 

Stacey also quotes A.W. Tozer when he said “Most of us see God too small; our God is too little. David said, ‘O magnify the Lord with me,’ and ‘magnify’ doesn’t mean to make God big. You can’t make God big. But you can see Him big.” 

This is why we worship through the storm. Why we worship period. It’s how we see the greatness and the fullness of God. 

So I ask that you would surrender to God, find your watchpost and go there.  Pray to and Worship God with us as we wait to hear from Him. 

“God always has something he does in the wilderness. He wants to pour something into you. But, it is not just about you. It is for others, too. Worship is frontline work. It is warfare and you are leading out to sing over others who are fighting battles too.”  -Martha Munizzi, Worship Leader

Below are some details and specific ways that you can pray for us...

Kelsie’s tumors are not feasible for surgery at this time. On Monday she started a clinical trial using HSV G207, headed by Dr. Gregory Friedman. The idea behind this therapy is that the virus is injected into the tumors and cause them to shut down. It then triggers the immune system to attack the virus which in turn kills the tumor cells. It has been used in six children so far with good results, Kelsie is the seventh. It also is much more tolerable than other cancer treatments. Dr. Friedman has been our doctor from the very beginning when Kelsie’s first tumor was found. We fully believe that he was appointed by God to Kelsie’s case and that God knew in 2015 that Dr Friedman would be the one to use his gifts to develop this new therapy. 

On Tuesday Kelsie underwent surgery to perform a biopsy of her tumor and also to place four catheters in her brain through which the HSV therapy would be infused. She was transferred to ICU and on Wednesday she went through the six hour long infusion process. She went through both these days with no complications. On Thursday she got one dose of radiation. Friday and Saturday were testing and observation days. We were told we could expect some headaches, nausea and vomiting. She’s experienced all three today which brings me to our prayer needs. 

Please pray that these and any other symptoms will cease. Pray that her immune system kicks in and starts killing the cells rapidly completely. Pray for Kaylee and Kensley and Jeremy as we are all separated at times. 

Thank you all for your love and support and for the prayers you’ve already offered on our behalf. We are forever grateful. 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him”. Lamentations 3:22-24